Settling.
That's what my feelings have finally gotten around to doing these past 24 hours. After finals, I did not know how to feel because while I was done with the semester, I was stuck in an odd spot knowing I was not about to turn around and jump right into the summer, at least not as I have always known it. If not for the fact that I am going on this trip, I would have let my head fill with thoughts of sun, sweat mixed with dirt and sunscreen, the smell of cut grass, and the people I would be spending the evenings with doing spontaneous things. But because I must put that state of mind on hold for a few weeks, I was instead filled with this uncertain apprehension, a sort of blank worry, not sure what to think about except that I have no idea what I am getting myself into. That blankness was soon tainted with loneliness as I continued to dwell upon the fact that I will be apart from the people I want to be with most for a good, long time.
Fortunately, I can say the apprehension is waning now that I have had a few days to transition into "I'm really going to go do this and build a rover and eat bread and cheese for breakfast and ride on an airplane for 8 hours and climb real mountains and live out of my backpack" mode. It's going to be great. To that end, I have made final decisions on which camera lenses to take (just two) and which shoes to leave at home (shout-out to Mom for listening to me rattle through my packing list and for telling me how many socks to take). I have also obtained the first book of The Lord of the Rings to read on the plane. I almost forgot that one might read for pleasure and not just out of academic necessity. I have done all the packing I possibly can, so tomorrow evening, I will be off, hopefully not having forgotten my passport.
All this international travel gives a whole new relevance to the Sunday school song, "God's got the WHOLE WORLD in his hands." I am looking forward to experiencing that first-hand.
That's what my feelings have finally gotten around to doing these past 24 hours. After finals, I did not know how to feel because while I was done with the semester, I was stuck in an odd spot knowing I was not about to turn around and jump right into the summer, at least not as I have always known it. If not for the fact that I am going on this trip, I would have let my head fill with thoughts of sun, sweat mixed with dirt and sunscreen, the smell of cut grass, and the people I would be spending the evenings with doing spontaneous things. But because I must put that state of mind on hold for a few weeks, I was instead filled with this uncertain apprehension, a sort of blank worry, not sure what to think about except that I have no idea what I am getting myself into. That blankness was soon tainted with loneliness as I continued to dwell upon the fact that I will be apart from the people I want to be with most for a good, long time.
Fortunately, I can say the apprehension is waning now that I have had a few days to transition into "I'm really going to go do this and build a rover and eat bread and cheese for breakfast and ride on an airplane for 8 hours and climb real mountains and live out of my backpack" mode. It's going to be great. To that end, I have made final decisions on which camera lenses to take (just two) and which shoes to leave at home (shout-out to Mom for listening to me rattle through my packing list and for telling me how many socks to take). I have also obtained the first book of The Lord of the Rings to read on the plane. I almost forgot that one might read for pleasure and not just out of academic necessity. I have done all the packing I possibly can, so tomorrow evening, I will be off, hopefully not having forgotten my passport.
All this international travel gives a whole new relevance to the Sunday school song, "God's got the WHOLE WORLD in his hands." I am looking forward to experiencing that first-hand.